A salute to my brother.

Veteran's Day is a day to honor those who have served in the military and I have decided to dedicate this post to my brother. No surprise there. It's possible he will never read it. Which is fine...I'm not trying to get sisterly points or anything, it's just that today is the day to honor men and women like him, so I'm gonna do it!! Also, I usually get a little emotional when I think back to his deployments. So if this seems a bit all over the place, then it is accurate to how I feel.

Bubb. I love you. I'm proud of you and the things you've accomplished. I'm a firm believer that we are the land of the free because of the brave and I salute you for being a part of that.

There have been times where I've been jealous of all the things you've been able to see while you served and then there are so many things I'm thankful for not ever having to shed my eyes on.

Every time you left I lived in a weakened state wondering when or if you'd come home (that's a horrible way to live by the way). I purposely kept away from news stations because if I had to hear about another car roadside bombing and then wait for a call to know you were okay, I would have never been able to function. Thankfully, you came back, and now I have to admit a few things. First, I still remember every fight we ever had as children and as teenagers. I also remember that it took you enlisting for both of us to set aside any anger that we held for each other for any petty reason. I know the majority of our anger was sibling rivalry, but if I could do it all over again I'd hold you a lot more, I'd let you play dolls with me when you asked, I'd let you crawl in my bed when mom and dad were fighting--instead of kick you out. I'd demand we have more dance parties to New Kids on the Block, and maybe I would have let you talk me into going hunting with you at Aunt Jane's. Maybe not...guns will forever freak me out.

But now, even with our past, this is what you going into the army has done to me:

You're the reason I can come out of my shell when I see someone in fatigues to just tell them 'thank you.' You're the reason I can shed tears during the singing 'God Bless America' or The Star Spangled Banner. You're the reason I can be at a sporting event, church, or grocery store, and have to cover my face/swipe at my tears/and control my breathing just when we are asked to recognize any military personnel in the seats (being in a stadium of any sort, watching other Americans applaud you and others like you gets me to the point of snot sobbing). You see? I was there every time you came back. There were times I raced that plane to the airport so I could see you in our small airport, get off that plane. I'm sure God got tired of me thanking Him for bringing you back, and then in another four months I was bargaining with Him again. "God, if you bring him back I will never again (fill in the blank)."  I loved being able to see how others looked at you, with honor, wonderment, and awe when you stepped into the airport. Whether you saw it or not, people appreciated you. I appreciate you. I would watch you with your little family and with us. You became a man, slightly harder every time, and just a little bit different. And then it seemed you had finally seen the one thing that would break you.

I love listening to your stories, the ones you are excited to tell, and I know there is one story in there that you don't want to talk about--and you don't have to. I just want you to know that I love you. I'm proud of you. I know you aren't serving any longer and if you were given the choice you'd be a part of it again. Thank you for your strength and bravery. And thank you for letting me hug you like an idiot every time you came back. It doesn't matter that you tower over me, you will ALWAYS be my little brother. I love you. I thank you and all the other men and women who have served. And because I'm pretty confident that you may not read this I'm going to post a couple pictures.

 

Just rollin' along...

20,000 words. And I couldn't be more happy...

Or more sleepy. 

Everybody has done this and I challenge you to do it more.

Surely all of you out there have done this at least once...let me lay the scene.

This afternoon we had a birthday party to go to. And because I'm me, I'm running late. The kids aren't dressed, all the windows are open, toys are on the ground--possibly a few socks as well--I'm not dressed etc. So at once I start waving my magic wand (Jaxon) and get the help I need. I'm dressed. Maddi's dressed. Jaxon has gotten herself dressed. The windows have all been closed and locked, and we have cleaned up the floor of anything that would look appetizing to our dog. And we RUN out of the house.

I lock the door--make sure I have both kids--put the kids in their car seats. Start the car and we are ON OUR WAY!!! I'm half way to the party when I realize I left my phone at home. I might as well have left without my contacts since I so often look at the world through my phone.

When this happens to me my body breaks out into cold sweats. Small ones. And then I wish them away. They leave and then I get goose bumps. I have to go through the entirety of this party with out checking my texts, I think. What if someone needs me on Facebook...or my email...or twitter. WHAT IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY LEAVES A COMMENT ON MY BLOG?!?! 

None of this is that important, I know. So I reason with, What if the truck breaks down? Who will save me? There, that's almost reasonable.

When I told Jaxon that I left my phone at home she gasped so loud that I realized my daughter might actually get me. Then she said, "Does that mean we have to listen to the real radio?! You better turn around and get your phone." Maybe she does get me. I do not turn around, however. I tell myself to buck up. Two hours will not kill you. Thankfully, I only had to go through the radio stations once before we got to the jump house.

So it's birthday party time. Kids are jumping/running/screaming and having a great time...and I get the urge to check my back pocket. There's no phone there and I remember. I shake it off and go in search of my children. Jaxon is smiling and laughing so hard. Maddi is kicking a soccer ball--not sure where it came from--with so much talent that I think of finding her a league immediately. Even at a time when I would usually steal a glance at my phone I got to see Maddi yell--ask--for birthday cake. It was great and I'm glad I left my phone home.

Now for the moment of truth. I love my phone. I really do. It does things like gets me places when I'm lost, stores my favorite songs, takes video, texts people, keeps me connected to all of my friends around the world--they are ALWAYS at my fingertips--and of course it calls people too. I look at it often and it never leaves my side. However, I do not stare at it all the time. I don't. I PROMISE!! I'm afraid if I do I will miss something.

Yesterday, I took Jaxon to another party and this one was located at a park. I walked around chasing my kid for nearly two hours while dodging hundreds of other kids. Yes, hundreds (it may have been fifty kids, but if you ask anyone what a group of fifty kids looks like, I guarantee they say, "100 kids"). I helped her on the monkey bars. She went down the fireman pole. We even went to pet some puppies that had been brought out. While doing this I noticed that EVERY parent, minus myself and very few others, were staring at their phone. I had a line of kids who needed my help on the monkey bars because their parents couldn't be bothered.

It's unreal how ridiculous people look when there is SO much life going on in front of them, yet they are glued to their mobile device. I couldn't be more thankful for my phone...but really, my kids, my family, my life is more important. I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in other people's lives, Facebook has made that so easy now. I know how easy it is to want to get lost in a good game of angry birds. But really, if you are out spending time in the real world, you should put your phones away. Strike up a conversation with the person next to you. Leave them at home and live again. If it's too hard, just start with 30 minute time slots. You'll build yourself up. And I promise it'll be worth it.

Also. I would have loved to have shared pictures of today's party but I left my phone at home and within my phone is my camera....so there ya have it!

I've done it.

I'VE GOT 10,000 WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

60,000 to go...

How do I do this?

It's day four of writing and I'm doing...........ok? I had a really good start the first day, which has kept me afloat the last couple days but now I'm just a little distracted. And it's only day four.

Yup...this is kind of a post full of complaints. Kind of. Well really, my only complaint is that I feel like poo. I've decided that I either have strep, the flu, or death is upon me. So that is my major distraction...it's hard to focus when my stomach is in knots and my nose/throat/head are planning attacks against me.

I have tried the pep talk approach. I used to be an athlete...I even coached at the collegiate level. I know what it takes to motivate people. So I've done the equivalent of tattooing "Just Do It" to the top of my hands--with a pen--and I start in on my document. I get in the groove. I get to about 500 words of this writing session and then Super Baby falls into the guitar. The dog chews on another toy. I have to give the "You must put your toys up when you're done or else this dog will chew up everything you have ever been given" speech for the seven hundredth time. Someone gets thirsty. Hungry. Potty time. Spilling a non-spillable sippy cup. Dirty diaper. Bonked head.  "I wanna hold you," (this one gets me every time). And then i have someone sitting on my hands...which are connected to the laptop... inherently ending the writing session.

So, after all that has happened I give in and turn on TV, because nothing says "you're a good mom" better than turning on Tangled so your kids can fall into a coma-like state just so you can try to write.

Document is once again open, I'm typing away, and then Rapunzel leaves her tower, sliding down the long golden hair that only Disney and Pantene can give. The girls jump!squeal!rejoice!!! and get into position. Once again I'm distracted by the 4 year old and 2 year old doing their own personal rendition of When Will My Life Begin. They know every word and movement...beginning with the rolling on the grass. I've seen it seventeen hundred times and I still can't look away.

So what should I do? Find a cabin located in the woods with no distraction and consequently no inspiration? Or stay here in this crazy house and just love my kids and pray they nap for five hours at at time? Obviously my choice is the second one, because a life without this is boring. And easy. And boring.

Alright. I'll post this and try add another five hundred words to my document.

Have a happy Friday!!

Day one.

It's 2am. I just finished a crazy write-a-thon. I've had approximately a gallon of coffee since 9pm and I can still feel it flowing through my veins.

 Eventually it will wear off, this will happen to me...

And then the girls will wake up. 

Anyway, day one went well. I pulled out 5000 some odd words in a few hours and things are rolling somewhat smooth. Thank you for all your kind words of encouragement. And good night!! Or morning. Whichever. 

She's writing a book?! Whaaaaat?

Hello all!! It has been a long while since I have posted here. So long that I don't even recognize the site anymore. I like it though...so good job Blogger!

I'm here for a reason though. You can probably tell from the title of this post, but I'm going to write a book. Well, let me rephrase, I have a story that I'm dying to get out. I'm going to write it all down. And if it gets published? We'll just have to cross that bridge when we get there. 

This has been my inspiration. I look at it every day to remind myself that my crazy adventure is not so crazy.

So, I've had a few inbox messages since I came out as a wannabe-writer on Facebook. Let me sum up a few things here.

Someone asked-strongly suggested-if I could blog my experience. I thought about it for a minute and decided it'd be a great idea to share a tidbit every now and again...just to keep me motivated. So here I am. Blogging again. 

How do you plan to write with those kids at home?

These kids I have I marvelous creatures. Just today I had gone to shower while they were both napping and when I got out (like, 10 minutes later) they had turned on the TV, were watching Sportscenter, and were scarfing down the Halloween cookies we had made last night. It didn't matter that six cookies went missing within the five minute window I've given them. They had provided themselves entertainment-that they were complaining about-and quenched their appetite. My rugrats will survive my endless hours at the computer. And hopefully they will still look like this when I'm all done. 

Also, I plan to do a lot of writing after the house is asleep. Which means I will look like the female equivalent to this most days. 

What's your book about?

It's about a girl. She goes through some stuff...and there is a boy involved. Maybe two. It'll be kinda romantic but mostly she finds herself through the journey?

Yes, this is the actual answer I give people. I don't know how to talk about it because it's a progression. And really, you don't have to worry about this until it gets published. And if THAT ever happens, I'm sure they have people who do summaries for a living. 

Am I going to be in your book?

If you have ever wronged me in any way, expect to be in chapter 10. That's when stuff really goes down. 

Totally kidding. When I got the idea for this book I was watching my 4 year old do something extraordinary. She was letting a boy stand up for the inescapable boo-boo she had been given...so it started there. The only other character in this book inspired by anyone in my life is the grandma. She's a lot like my granny. Cooky. Silly. And randomly spouts out wisdom at the most inopportune times. 

WILL THERE BE SEX?!?!!?

I can honestly say that I could never write out a sex scene knowing that one day my grandmother and mother would read it. There's that. 

What? Are you the descendant of a bunch of prudes?!

Yes. 

What about God?

What about him? He is a major player in my life and is constantly present in my life. Why wouldn't I include him here?

Do you have the proper support?

Absolutely. First, I have a husband who has been my fan since my freshman year in college. I told him I wanted to write a book and he went and bought me a laptop. This guy loves me and really wants me to do this. 

Second, my best friend is two pom-poms short of joining a squad. And she's vowed to tell me if anything is awful. I trust her. 

Third, I have a lot of family who are seeing me through this. None of which have looked at me like I've lost my mind. I appreciate that most. 

And fourth...I have somehow found my way into a fabulous group of women who know what they are doing   when it comes to working the keyboard. They also know how to tell me to "GET OFF FACEBOOK! QUIT CHECKING YOUR EMAIL!! AND QUIT WASTING YOUR TIME!!!" This is also appreciated. 

How are you going about doing this?

Well, I've entered myself into a writing workshop of sorts. I did it to initially give me a swift kick in the butt to get started on my story. The goal of this workshop is to get 50,000 words in the month of November and to finish my novel. Or the first draft of said novel. 

I will no doubt be typing like this...

So there are bound to be a few mistakes. 

That's all for now. I embark on this journey tomorrow and I'm super excited!!!