Confessions of an Army Sis.

So I have a lot of things running through my mind at the moment and the best place for me to put them down would be...here...my Internet scrapbooking/journal to the world. This jumbled up entry may not get anywhere, because like I said my mind is in all directions with one core issue at hand. Yesterday.

Yesterday I was driving the girls for a little cousin play date 45 minutes away from our house. Five minutes out of town I get my first text: "Have you heard from David?" This is kind of a normal text. My brother, an E5 Sargent, stationed at Fort Hood can go weeks without speaking to certain people and a few members of the family will ask me if I have "heard from David?" Since I'm in the middle of traffic I don't answer. Then the texts begin pouring in? "Is your brother ok?" "Can you believe this is going on? It's crazy!" "Omigosh I hope your brother is ok...have you heard from him?" The last from my husband reads, "I heard about what happened at Fort Hood, I hope your brother is ok."

My mind is reeling. It is trying to place together what could be going on...I try to call back any of these people and NO ONE is answering...so I look to the sky. Sure I live about 2 hours away from Kileen but if the base was bombed there would be smoke right....well nothing is there and finally my mom answers the phone.

ME: "So. What's going on?"

Mom: "Well, I'm not sure. Apparently there are shooters at Ft Hood. It could be a terrorist attack...I'm waiting to hear from Lauren (his wife) because she thinks he is out of town...oh! I have to go Granny's on the other line." click.

My mind is spinning. My arms, my legs, my fingers...shaking. Jaxon is in the back singing to "All the Single Ladies" and I have to pull over because I can't see straight, think straight...nothing. I was going to turn back and go home but when I called our play date I could hear her crying in the background...not something that I wanted from Jaxon at the moment either so I kept urging my way to their house.

I finally hear from my dad that my brother is in Fort Worth at a Wedding...but only minutes later that that isn't right. He was in the building when this happened. The guy above my brother was at the wedding...but David is accounted for.

After 10 minutes of frantically searching for CNN on my SIRIUS radio (no I don't have it programmed...I like listening to things that make me smile) I finally found it and they claimed, "Not a terrorist attack the FBI is ruling it out at this moment."

Terror is defined as intense, sharp, overmastering fear: to be frantic with terror. And terrorism is defined as the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes.

Yesterday. Yesterday for 5 hours I was filled with terror. Yesterday, and overmastering fear was squeezing my heart and shaking my limbs. Yesterday, families around our country lost brothers, sisters, wives, husbands, mothers, and fathers...and the root of it was terrorism. Yes Nidal Malik Hasan is an American soldier, but he has terrorist written all over him.

I'm not referring to his race. I'm not referring to his religion. I'm referring to his actions that led to a fearful feeling spread across the nation. And now all I can do is shake my head at our country. At our country's people. What is this world coming to?

I felt the same way in high school after the Columbine shootings...I didn't want to ever go back to school because I thought for sure someone would do the same thing there.

I felt the same way after 9/11...I wanted to move to the middle of nowhere, USA so a bomber would never find me.

I felt the same way after the Virginia Tech massacre, because I knew that some scary person was going to walk into our Abilene Christian Athletic Offices and shoot because they were never given a chance to play.

Yes, I am a bit of a drama queen...but terror follows you and is never erased. These four nightmares stay with me when I go shopping, when I travel, when I answer my door...My mind is always running and checking people out...I hate that I live like this, but what do you do with today's society?

Prayer after prayer is constantly running through my mind. For my family. For these families who are suffering from losses at the hands of others. I am constantly praying for them and crying for them...and what I know is that this world is not ready for "change." A month after our president wins the Nobel Peace Prize, one of his own soldiers brings havoc on our country's soil killing those who trained alongside him.

Yesterday, at 5 pm, my brother texted me. "I'm fine." That was all it said...and all it needed to say. At that moment, all the fears boiling inside of me cooled off and I had never felt so nauseous. In the presence of others I kept my cool, but I wanted to run into a corner and cry my heart out. It's the same feeling I had when my brother's plane would touch on American soil again after a tour in Iraq. So now I'm so very thankful that he is alright...and hurt for the others who cannot say those words.

My mind is still all over the place and I only touched a few of the things on my mind. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm scared and mad. I'm rejoicing that all of my family is home and accounted for but what does that mean when things happen like they did yesterday. Tomorrow is another day that can be someone elses yesterday.

New Stuffs

Well we survived a trip back to Abilene, and made it back without swine flu...well as of right now we don't have it. I have a few cousins who do...so here I am blowing kisses and hoping they feel better :* I just wanted to let my Doty's Dish readers that I have started a new blog....one that I actually plan on keeping up with...and it's basically just the adventures of Jaxon and Maddux. The link is http://www.jaxandmax.blogspot.com/ and I do plan on still blogging about family matters over here...this is just an extra little do-dad to keep me occupied when I need to be occupied. Take care all.

Long Time No See

Yes, it has been a while...but I typically just add pictures to facebook now...1...because it's easier. 2...I hardly look at blogs anymore...and 3...I figure if only 3 people leave comments...then only 3 people are looking...and if that's the case, those 3 people are my friends on facebook...and they see these pics otherwise...only without the fun stories...so here goes what has happened since we have moved down here. First off, Mitch and I have been to an Astros game...he has seen the Texans play...and he won a $100 gift certificate to some schnazzy restaurant in downtown Houston. He has become the announcer for the Magnolia Bulldog Volleyball team and the Eagles have beat the Cougars....again :D. We made a spur of the moment beach trip (which is something you can do when you live here) and hung out with Cowboy and Amanda while we were there. Here are a few pics of the day.

Jaxon looking for seashells...

And here she is building a sand castle...jk that's not hers...but we did dig a great hole.

And yes. she may look calm and collected in the waves...but she is F.R.E.A.K.E.D out...soon after I had to chase her all over the beach while she made new friends.

my mommy came to visit also last weekend...and Jaxon was so tired that she passed out at dinner. Yes that is bread in her diaper. We have a video of the waking up process....but my mom needs to send it.


Now onto Maddi...she loves to snuggle and be snuggled...this little blanket/bear thing is her favorite..thank you kellianne.

She is smiling now...and is obviously just as cute as Jaxon was..............just sayin.

Her Neena took some fab photos of her...and here is one of my favorite....

and lastly here she is chillin at the beach.

A short Jaxon video of her jumping capabilities. This is maybe a month ago...so she clears it now. I'm fairly certain she jumps better than I do.

Jaxon Videos.

So i just have a few funny videos of Jaxon singing...well not really singing...just listen and you will understand. The first video is when we were driving at night...and Maddux wasn't a happy camper so Jaxon thought a round of twinkle twinkle would work.

Now this video is very similar...only you can see her...and watch her jabber away.

The last video is a little like the last one...i think...anyway, my favorite is when she says "ocho"

Jaxon and Maddux.

So it has been forever since I have been on blogger and I totally apologize but in a nutshell this is what has been going on. I gave birth. And we moved. 2 big things to keep me heavily distracted. Anyway...Meet Maddux Grace (the pictures basically work backwards b/c I don't feel like putting them in order at the moment...and I don't have many b/c other people's cameras have been the one's to catch the "magic")...Anyway, I think she looks heavily like her sister most of the time...and others she has her own way about her.

coming home...in the cutest outfit ever.

She has literally been a fantastic baby...she only fusses when she is hungry and is starting to get the sleeping through most of the night thing down!!

2 peas in a pod...Jaxon and Avery are going to be T.R.O.U.B.L.E when they get older...as if they aren't already...Avery says "let's do this Jaxon" and Jaxon says, "whatever you say Avery." and they are just toooo funny together. Oh and Jaxon is talking non-stop...she sings songs (that you can basically understand) and she has just become the most wonderful 2 year old. And amazing big sister. She loves to kiss on, hug on, and take care of baby sister. I will try to update sooner next time...as for now just enjoy the pictures :)

We're a changin.

almost 2 years ago, we welcomed into our world the most perfect little princess. ever. i'm not saying that because she is MY daughter...but really, she couldn't have made my first trip of motherhood any easier. from the beginning, she has slept the whole night through (unless there was something wrong...like teething). she has constantly kept herself entertained...and has just been the sweetest ever.

NOW it's almost her 2 year birthday and she is going to be the best big sister. I have been watching her play with her "Baayybee" lately, and the proof is right there in front of me. She kisses her goodnight, shares her blankie and tucks her in, she shares her food and her sippee cup...and only when she is tired of playing does she throw the baby down (we will have to work on that part). But I just cannot believe how nurturing she is.
In all of this chaos of having a baby, packing, moving across Texas, and unpacking...we really won't be able to have a party for the tiny princes...which she won't care...or even know. I feel bad, but maybe someone will pop a few fire crackers in the neighborhood and I can tell her they are just for her.

I am going to enjoy these last 2 days of being a mother of one and just love on her emensely. She continues to surprise us with something new every day...whether it's a new phrase (yesterday was "AHA!") or a new way to kiss (eskimo) or her new favorite TV show...or her new favorite shoes...she just enjoys all aspects of life and I am going to get a big dosage of that for the next 2 days before I go to the hospital Tuesday morning (at 5:30am) to have Maddux Grace. She couldn't be coming at a better time. Unfortunately, last week Mitchell's sweet poppi passed away and it is going to be a rough transition for everyone. There are many reasons why I was blessed when the Lord found this family for me to marry into...and Poppi is at the top of this list. But what better way to help mend a broken heart, than to bring another angel back into this world.

Here is a pic of us both reading to Maddi. Jaxon is reading her the CCC's (ABC's) and I am reading them a Charlaine Harris book (shameful). Love to all...pray for our new addition. And I will blog with pics in a couple weeks after everything is unpacked...I'm pretty sure this is my last day with a computer.

Alot going on.

So what's going on? In a little more than 3 weeks, I am going to be the mother of 2 children, and yes I am freaking out a little bit. Not because I don't think I can do...because PSHA i sooo can...I'm just freaking because this means something different for my little princess, Jaxon. I know, I know...she is going to handle it with grace and beauty and be the best big sis ever...but still, things are a changin' and I'm nervous.

So what else could be changing??? Well I will get to that in a minute.

Everyone knows that I am married to a great man and father...y'all know that right? Well if you didn't know that, I am. So today actually he was awarded with the Friend of the Class award at Abilene High...and I couldn't be more proud of him. While we were watching all the Seniors take their seats at the Baccalaureate, high fives and head nods were coming very frequently and I couldn't feel any more proud for the man I married. Parents and teachers stopped us on our way out to congratulate him on the award, and I just loved seeing my husband being "praised" for being himself around students to where they can love and respect him enough to give him this great award...but it's Bittersweet...only because I know that there are many students who enjoy their "Doty," but don't quite know that he is leaving. (this is the other change) Blessed be the name of the Lord...we are moving!!! To the Houston area because my husband got a job that specifically defines him as a coach.

His love has always been basketball, and the coach that he was at A-High didn't always him to be that...b/c well Football is just where it is...and of course he will miss the heck out of Friday nights...and watch, the Eagles are going to win a state championship next...but Mitchell's true love (basketball) is what he will be doing in the Houston area and again, I couldn't be more proud of him. At a school that had over 40 applicants, and 8 people were chosen to be interviewed...Mitchell was the one the head coach decided he NEEDED for his program, and I am so happy for him.

Am I going to miss Abilene? Well, I dunno. Of course my entire family resides here, but I have been here for 26 years and really I feel like I have never taken the next "step" in life. So here I go, taking a step...and if I get homesick...I will only be 7 hours away (hahahaha). But I think I will be fine...now when are we moving? well as soon as i have a baby, sell our house, find one for us down there, and before school starts in August. So why am I a little stressed?