Everybody has done this and I challenge you to do it more.

Surely all of you out there have done this at least once...let me lay the scene.

This afternoon we had a birthday party to go to. And because I'm me, I'm running late. The kids aren't dressed, all the windows are open, toys are on the ground--possibly a few socks as well--I'm not dressed etc. So at once I start waving my magic wand (Jaxon) and get the help I need. I'm dressed. Maddi's dressed. Jaxon has gotten herself dressed. The windows have all been closed and locked, and we have cleaned up the floor of anything that would look appetizing to our dog. And we RUN out of the house.

I lock the door--make sure I have both kids--put the kids in their car seats. Start the car and we are ON OUR WAY!!! I'm half way to the party when I realize I left my phone at home. I might as well have left without my contacts since I so often look at the world through my phone.

When this happens to me my body breaks out into cold sweats. Small ones. And then I wish them away. They leave and then I get goose bumps. I have to go through the entirety of this party with out checking my texts, I think. What if someone needs me on Facebook...or my email...or twitter. WHAT IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY LEAVES A COMMENT ON MY BLOG?!?! 

None of this is that important, I know. So I reason with, What if the truck breaks down? Who will save me? There, that's almost reasonable.

When I told Jaxon that I left my phone at home she gasped so loud that I realized my daughter might actually get me. Then she said, "Does that mean we have to listen to the real radio?! You better turn around and get your phone." Maybe she does get me. I do not turn around, however. I tell myself to buck up. Two hours will not kill you. Thankfully, I only had to go through the radio stations once before we got to the jump house.

So it's birthday party time. Kids are jumping/running/screaming and having a great time...and I get the urge to check my back pocket. There's no phone there and I remember. I shake it off and go in search of my children. Jaxon is smiling and laughing so hard. Maddi is kicking a soccer ball--not sure where it came from--with so much talent that I think of finding her a league immediately. Even at a time when I would usually steal a glance at my phone I got to see Maddi yell--ask--for birthday cake. It was great and I'm glad I left my phone home.

Now for the moment of truth. I love my phone. I really do. It does things like gets me places when I'm lost, stores my favorite songs, takes video, texts people, keeps me connected to all of my friends around the world--they are ALWAYS at my fingertips--and of course it calls people too. I look at it often and it never leaves my side. However, I do not stare at it all the time. I don't. I PROMISE!! I'm afraid if I do I will miss something.

Yesterday, I took Jaxon to another party and this one was located at a park. I walked around chasing my kid for nearly two hours while dodging hundreds of other kids. Yes, hundreds (it may have been fifty kids, but if you ask anyone what a group of fifty kids looks like, I guarantee they say, "100 kids"). I helped her on the monkey bars. She went down the fireman pole. We even went to pet some puppies that had been brought out. While doing this I noticed that EVERY parent, minus myself and very few others, were staring at their phone. I had a line of kids who needed my help on the monkey bars because their parents couldn't be bothered.

It's unreal how ridiculous people look when there is SO much life going on in front of them, yet they are glued to their mobile device. I couldn't be more thankful for my phone...but really, my kids, my family, my life is more important. I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in other people's lives, Facebook has made that so easy now. I know how easy it is to want to get lost in a good game of angry birds. But really, if you are out spending time in the real world, you should put your phones away. Strike up a conversation with the person next to you. Leave them at home and live again. If it's too hard, just start with 30 minute time slots. You'll build yourself up. And I promise it'll be worth it.

Also. I would have loved to have shared pictures of today's party but I left my phone at home and within my phone is my camera....so there ya have it!

I've done it.

I'VE GOT 10,000 WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

60,000 to go...

How do I do this?

It's day four of writing and I'm doing...........ok? I had a really good start the first day, which has kept me afloat the last couple days but now I'm just a little distracted. And it's only day four.

Yup...this is kind of a post full of complaints. Kind of. Well really, my only complaint is that I feel like poo. I've decided that I either have strep, the flu, or death is upon me. So that is my major distraction...it's hard to focus when my stomach is in knots and my nose/throat/head are planning attacks against me.

I have tried the pep talk approach. I used to be an athlete...I even coached at the collegiate level. I know what it takes to motivate people. So I've done the equivalent of tattooing "Just Do It" to the top of my hands--with a pen--and I start in on my document. I get in the groove. I get to about 500 words of this writing session and then Super Baby falls into the guitar. The dog chews on another toy. I have to give the "You must put your toys up when you're done or else this dog will chew up everything you have ever been given" speech for the seven hundredth time. Someone gets thirsty. Hungry. Potty time. Spilling a non-spillable sippy cup. Dirty diaper. Bonked head.  "I wanna hold you," (this one gets me every time). And then i have someone sitting on my hands...which are connected to the laptop... inherently ending the writing session.

So, after all that has happened I give in and turn on TV, because nothing says "you're a good mom" better than turning on Tangled so your kids can fall into a coma-like state just so you can try to write.

Document is once again open, I'm typing away, and then Rapunzel leaves her tower, sliding down the long golden hair that only Disney and Pantene can give. The girls jump!squeal!rejoice!!! and get into position. Once again I'm distracted by the 4 year old and 2 year old doing their own personal rendition of When Will My Life Begin. They know every word and movement...beginning with the rolling on the grass. I've seen it seventeen hundred times and I still can't look away.

So what should I do? Find a cabin located in the woods with no distraction and consequently no inspiration? Or stay here in this crazy house and just love my kids and pray they nap for five hours at at time? Obviously my choice is the second one, because a life without this is boring. And easy. And boring.

Alright. I'll post this and try add another five hundred words to my document.

Have a happy Friday!!

Day one.

It's 2am. I just finished a crazy write-a-thon. I've had approximately a gallon of coffee since 9pm and I can still feel it flowing through my veins.

 Eventually it will wear off, this will happen to me...

And then the girls will wake up. 

Anyway, day one went well. I pulled out 5000 some odd words in a few hours and things are rolling somewhat smooth. Thank you for all your kind words of encouragement. And good night!! Or morning. Whichever. 

She's writing a book?! Whaaaaat?

Hello all!! It has been a long while since I have posted here. So long that I don't even recognize the site anymore. I like it though...so good job Blogger!

I'm here for a reason though. You can probably tell from the title of this post, but I'm going to write a book. Well, let me rephrase, I have a story that I'm dying to get out. I'm going to write it all down. And if it gets published? We'll just have to cross that bridge when we get there. 

This has been my inspiration. I look at it every day to remind myself that my crazy adventure is not so crazy.

So, I've had a few inbox messages since I came out as a wannabe-writer on Facebook. Let me sum up a few things here.

Someone asked-strongly suggested-if I could blog my experience. I thought about it for a minute and decided it'd be a great idea to share a tidbit every now and again...just to keep me motivated. So here I am. Blogging again. 

How do you plan to write with those kids at home?

These kids I have I marvelous creatures. Just today I had gone to shower while they were both napping and when I got out (like, 10 minutes later) they had turned on the TV, were watching Sportscenter, and were scarfing down the Halloween cookies we had made last night. It didn't matter that six cookies went missing within the five minute window I've given them. They had provided themselves entertainment-that they were complaining about-and quenched their appetite. My rugrats will survive my endless hours at the computer. And hopefully they will still look like this when I'm all done. 

Also, I plan to do a lot of writing after the house is asleep. Which means I will look like the female equivalent to this most days. 

What's your book about?

It's about a girl. She goes through some stuff...and there is a boy involved. Maybe two. It'll be kinda romantic but mostly she finds herself through the journey?

Yes, this is the actual answer I give people. I don't know how to talk about it because it's a progression. And really, you don't have to worry about this until it gets published. And if THAT ever happens, I'm sure they have people who do summaries for a living. 

Am I going to be in your book?

If you have ever wronged me in any way, expect to be in chapter 10. That's when stuff really goes down. 

Totally kidding. When I got the idea for this book I was watching my 4 year old do something extraordinary. She was letting a boy stand up for the inescapable boo-boo she had been given...so it started there. The only other character in this book inspired by anyone in my life is the grandma. She's a lot like my granny. Cooky. Silly. And randomly spouts out wisdom at the most inopportune times. 

WILL THERE BE SEX?!?!!?

I can honestly say that I could never write out a sex scene knowing that one day my grandmother and mother would read it. There's that. 

What? Are you the descendant of a bunch of prudes?!

Yes. 

What about God?

What about him? He is a major player in my life and is constantly present in my life. Why wouldn't I include him here?

Do you have the proper support?

Absolutely. First, I have a husband who has been my fan since my freshman year in college. I told him I wanted to write a book and he went and bought me a laptop. This guy loves me and really wants me to do this. 

Second, my best friend is two pom-poms short of joining a squad. And she's vowed to tell me if anything is awful. I trust her. 

Third, I have a lot of family who are seeing me through this. None of which have looked at me like I've lost my mind. I appreciate that most. 

And fourth...I have somehow found my way into a fabulous group of women who know what they are doing   when it comes to working the keyboard. They also know how to tell me to "GET OFF FACEBOOK! QUIT CHECKING YOUR EMAIL!! AND QUIT WASTING YOUR TIME!!!" This is also appreciated. 

How are you going about doing this?

Well, I've entered myself into a writing workshop of sorts. I did it to initially give me a swift kick in the butt to get started on my story. The goal of this workshop is to get 50,000 words in the month of November and to finish my novel. Or the first draft of said novel. 

I will no doubt be typing like this...

So there are bound to be a few mistakes. 

That's all for now. I embark on this journey tomorrow and I'm super excited!!! 

From one soapbox to another.

Two posts. In the same month...I know shocking. Anyway, I've had something bothering me as of late and this pesky situation was just brought to a head when I read something a friend of mine wrote. I'm going to get started on my end then bring it all together.

First off, Society-you confuse the hell out of me (with this being said, I must apologize to 90% of my readers for saying the word 'hell.' I know you are my family...but these are my sentiments).

Almost three years ago my little family of two took on a whole new form and we had our first baby. At this time I was working the way I had dreamt about since I was in high school. I wasn't just coaching my favorite sport but I was coaching college athletes. This was the very thing I took classes for at ACU. I loved working my 40+ hour weeks. Leaving the house at 7 every morning and returning at 7pm daily. My weekends were gone but all of this was ok because I was "living my dream."

After having Jax I felt the same way. Seriously, I did. My grandmother watched her in the mornings and then tag teamed with other baby sitters throughout the day. And EVERY TIME (literally every time) we got to do anything as a family--whether it be going to church or running into a friend at the mall--we would run into someone who would ask if I was staying home with my baby. Yes this is a blog about staying home with my kids. When I would say "No" I would get a look of disappointment from the other party. Every time. Then they would ask who was taking care of my kids...to which I would tell them about my herd of sitters and if I can put words in their mouths they would read, "how awful for your children to be passed around from person to person while you 'work.'" This was always written all over their face.

So I would roll my eyes as we walked away. I wasn't going to let someone else dictate my life. I wasn't going to be THAT woman who spent thousands of dollars on my education...then push it to the side once I had offspring. And my first season as a coach and a mother was around the corner and surely I wouldn't go crazy.

Well, I did. Where I had fun constantly being on the ball field, and watching people succeed where I had helped was simply amazing. But I was never home. There were times where I wasn't home four days out of the workweek. Baby sitters were staying till 11pm because my husband had the crazy spring football schedule that Abilene High demanded. And on nights where I was home it was a blur of paying the sitter/cooking dinner for the family/bathing kid/cleaning/putting kid to sleep.

This isn't being a parent. I'd come home to put my child to sleep. Lame.

I was miserable in my job because I couldn't be happy at home. So something had to give. I debated what should be done for a while, then finally gave into the fact that for a few years I could waste my education. I could let my dream job go because none of that matters if my family is being raised by other people. So I "hung up my cleats." Or coaching shoes. I kept up with ACU softball and the conference for the last two years as if I still knew everyone and sure I miss it a little but none of that compares to sharing all the little moments I have with my kids.

So now. Here I am back on my soapbox. Yesterday. At church. I'm trying to drop Max off at the nursery. It's obvious she doesn't want to let go of me....We're a little attached....And not one...not two...but three, THREE(!) different woman said to me with a disappointed face, "You're a stay at home mom. Aren't you?" Mentally, I thought "screw you" while the smile on my face was read differently.

Then, this morning I'm reading a note that my friend had on Facebook. K. If you're reading this, I'm not upset, in fact I don't really care because I don't necessarily think your note applies to me. I just feel the need to stick up for the Bigots and Neo-fems that us stay at home moms are. I didn't plan to be a "birther." I don't think all women should have kids. I don't think all women should stay at home with kids. I'm lucky that I'm not married to a "sexist-racist-bastard" as you so eloquently put. My husband could care less what I do and was just as surprised/shocked as I was when the strip turned pink...or blue...whatever it does. All, I'm saying is that these words that you put out there are ignorant. Yes ignorant.

Anyone can put words out there. Hurtful words. True words. Whatever. But until you are standing there with a family of your own, and facing children of your own who are screaming "No mommy don't go," every time you leave for the weekend...then you don't know any better.

I'm not "wasting" my intelligence. I'm sharing it with my kid/s. I don't want an award. I don't even want recognition for this (another reason why I don't think I fit into your bitter rant). I just didn't want your rant to be out there with out a rebuttal. I had this little blog of my own brewing in my mind lately and your soap box just fed my own.

Society is so screwed where two women can feel the same pressures completely different ways.

Society. What do you want me to do?

Just kidding, I could care less what society wants me to do. I just want you to lay off my back. I'm happy. My kids are happy with me. Jax picks my side of the bed to come to after she's had a bad dream. She calls for me in her sleep when she's too scared to get down from her bed. All of these things I chalk up in the Win column. These are things that would be different if I were working right now. I know it.

Maybe this is lame to some other people. Maybe I deserve "SO. MUCH. MORE." as a woman and I'm selling myself short. Screw that. My kids are young once. I can live my dream later. And they can have their mommy now.

Trying to get my butt back in shape

Yes. It's been forever since I updated this blog...I'd probably keep the lack of story telling going but this subject is just way too long for a Facebook status update. Not that anyone would care to read this. Maybe my granny. Maybe my mom...Either way, I'm in the process of trying to get back into shape. Or just not be so round, if you will. And its so hard.

I started this a couple months ago. I'm not religiously going at it like I should be, but I'm definitely doing more than what I did before. Jax is nearly three and I can honestly say that aside from softball practice after she was born I have not exercised. Yikes. I know.

I take pride in the fact that at one point in my life I ran a mile in 7 minutes and 38 seconds. Then bested that only once. This was something I never really worked at to begin with until I played ball at ACU. I mean why does a third baseman need to be able to sprint a mile? They don't...so don't try to talk me into any reasoning. My point is that at one point in my life I was in shape and smaller. And even then I didn't like my body. Here I am, muuuch bigger, and so much more out of shape I hate myself for ever losing that motivation.

So now, I'm trying to get myself back into. In the clammy Houston heat. The second I step outside, the hair at the nape of my neck beads up with sweat. And this is at 8am. I could wake myself up and the girls and get a move on at 6:30. But I'm not that crazy.

And yes I am doing this business with the company of my little girls (in the double jogger) and Petey strapped on as well. They are the perfect motivators. Jax will say, "Ma, You should go faster." And when I do Maddi claps. It's great...then "Petey" gets tired so I have to slow down...for his sake of course. Right now we are working at a pace of 25 minutes for 2 and a half miles. Yes, I know this is awful, but my excuse is that I'm pushing the girls and pulling Petey as well. My goal is not 7 minutes, but to be able to run five miles in a steady jog like my grandma does...let's see if I can get there. On a lighter note...here are the girls...being cute :)